i know i can say i am sorry and know that you will forgive me, but father please help me change and turn away from my sins. please help me change my heart and help me learn the real meaning of intimacy with a deep relationship with you and show me what love is supposed to be and what it means to love someone and to be selfless and the joy of intimacy and its reward of commitment. father help me see love in your eyes instead of the way the world sees it. it is corrupted and i have been a testimony of its pain and sorrow and how shallow it is. i want a kind of love that you meant for us to have. i have to deny myself and what i know and so much of me and my pride and all the things i cling on too to find you and the answers i seek…. i have to fix my eyes on you father. i dont know how but i have to trust that you will guide me and speak to me. pour your spirit on me and cleanse me o father.